"But today, of all days, it is brought home to me, it is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life..."

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My Last First Semester

My first semester of college is in the books.

If I could sum up my feelings in one word, it would be "thankful."

When I think back to a year ago--the doubt, the turmoil, the uncertainty--just thinking of where I was a year ago and where I am now...His grace overwhelms me.

I left for home the day after my last final, and so I had an evening to pack and to reflect. I crept up to the small chapel on the 3rd floor of my dorm, and I thought back on the semester. My heart swelled with thankfulness. I've had so many wonderful times, met so many wonderful people. I came to college in August so unsure; unsure of many, many things. I'm still not certain about exactly what the next seven semesters will be like, but so many of my doubts have gone away. And I am truly, truly thankful for God's grace in that.

I could get into particulars and tell you the highlights, but it wasn't that that made it wonderful.
It was the every day things. The smiles, the laughter, the conversations with random people on the front porch of Memorial. Little things that I hardly even noticed that piled up and filled my soul.

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-It's been swell. 


Thursday, September 11, 2014

Never Forget

"Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in airplanes or in their offices: secretaries, business men and women, military and federal workers, moms and dads, friends and neighbors.
Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge -- huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our country is strong.

A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could... 



Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a Power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for you are with me.
This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world." 


--George W. Bush, September 11, 2001





Never Forget.


Saturday, July 19, 2014

This thing called life...

I have tried this summer to set aside time to do things that I love, but don't often have the free-time to do. Like drawing, writing, reading, writing letters, watching sunsets and moonrises, enjoying soft, falling rain while sipping a warm cup of tea, and waking up in the early mooring to drink coffee and have my quiet time. And almost every time, I have thought, "I should get a picture of this." I was so caught up in the documentation of these things, that I forgot to fully enjoy them for themselves--instead of the Instagram caption I could slap on them, or the people who would 'like' them, or the comments they would render. I was robbing these things of the simple pleasure they naturally bring by twisting them into a means of affirmation. I wanted them not because they brought me joy or contentment, but because they brought me popularity. I wanted people to look at my life, via social media, and like it. And like me for it.
I would word and reword, and reword again, a status to make it as clever/witty/smart as possible hoping to elicit th emost likes I could. I found myself saying things like, "that post deserves more likes than that!" Or clicking to see who had liked it and gleaning satisfaction as I scrolled through the list of names.
And I realized it had to stop. Social media, like almost anything, is a good servant, but a wretchedly poor master. And it is slowly becoming my master. It is conducting my life. But slowly, of course, so it slipped up on me, with the intent to turn me into a man-fearing machine, before I could notice. Thank goodness, I don't think it got that far. But it has robbed me of some of the joy of life...

Have you ever tried to get a picture of a firefly? Or even looked for one on the internet? It isn't there. You may find an animation of some sort, but a real forest, alight with the flashes of fireflies, can't be captured--it can only be cherished and enjoyed. The moments of barefooted children snatching in the darkness at brief flashes of light can't be documented. But they can be remembered.
Have you ever felt the frustration of trying to take a picture of a sunset only to find that the brilliance of the fiery pinks and purples fade behind the lens of a camera? Sunsets cannot be properly captured either. If you're a fairly good photographer, and have moderate editing skills, you may be able to produce a nice photograph of a sunset, but ultimately, it won't look exactly like the real thing--because it isn't the real thing.
I'm not photographer, but even when searching through the photographs of professionals for images of a sunset, or a full moon, the pictures looked somewhat artificial--as if only careful editing by human hands could produce something like that. It's not a divine creation by the Divine Creator--it's only a representation that hardly does the real thing any justice. It doesn't evoke the same feelings as looking at a real sunset. It doesn't give you the same pang in your heart.

The best moments--those quiet and unassuming--cannot be properly captured. You may be able to come up with a near life-like representation, but in the end, it will only be that: a representation that falls woefully short. It will never be the thing itself.
And that's why I think it is important to put away the camera and just live sometimes. Because if not, you will have the representations of memories you barely remember. The photographs of times you didn't fully enjoy because you weren't fully invested at the time. In an age where we can now document things more easily than ever before, we have to guard ourselves against making documentation what we live for.

It's a freeing feeling, really. When you stop judging life based on an amount of notifications. And when the quality of moments is not measured by the number of likes they get. When you sit on the back porch in the morning with your fingers tucked snugly 'round a warm mug of coffee and push aside the Instagram opportunities, and sit there, in the mystical grey coolness of morning, just because you like it.
When you read a book and underline a passage not because it would make a good Facebook status, but because you find truth in what it says.
When you sit atop your roof and enjoy a sunset, and ignore the urge to go for the camera, and just revel in the fiery intensity of sunlit clouds.
Or whatever it is--just doing it for the sake of doing it. Not so anyone else will know, but merely to derive joy from the simple, little things which make up this wonderful thing called life.
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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

-18 Years of This Stuff. And It's Been Grand-

     Well, I’m done folks. Done with high-school, homeschool, and that whole phase of life. Which is incredibly weird, scary, and exciting. And I don’t really know how I feel about it.
     When you finish a phase of life, it necessarily calls for some reminiscing and reflection. And I’ve been doing a lot of that as of late. Thinking of leaving home, and how wonderful a home it’s been. But also thinking about my education thus far, and how thankful I am for it.
     Why, exactly, have I loved my education so much? I don’t think I ever realized just how much I loved it until this year, as I began to think about it being over. Besides the perks of doing school in pajamas, the freedom of not being restricted by hard and fast schedules, drinking vast amounts of tea and coffee, sitting on the couch instead of at a desk, listening to music, roasting marshmallows over the fireplace in the winter, and reading on a blanket in the backyard in the spring, there’s been something about my education that is somewhat inexplicable, but I’m extremely thankful for.
     I’m not a hard-core homeschool advocate. I don’t think homeschooling is the only way to go or that if you’re not homeschooling, you’re wrong. Different things work for different people. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can say this: my education has been one of the biggest blessings of my life thus far.

     There are homeschool families who are big into this, or big into that. There are the moms whose children practically know the alphabet before they can roll over. (Though it’s usually only the first child, right?) The over-achieving preschoolers who are already reading chapter books by the age of 4. The kindergarteners who can name every U.S. President. The first-grader who can name every state capitol. The second-graders who have memorized the entire periodic table. The third-graders who speak Latin like a native Roman and have probably translated the entire New Testament. Then there are the families who jump in an RV and road-trip across America. The schoolrooms that look like an art studio. (Seriously. How can one mama be that crafty?) Everybody’s got something. And I don’t know… my education just wasn’t all that glamorous. We went through phases, sure. There was the time we put on the Egyptian play and made paddle-dolls and Paper Mache Pharaoh hat things (what are those called, anyway?) But what I feel like my parents have really tried to do this entire time is present me the truth. And I don’t feel like the truth really needs dressing up that much. Other things haven’t mattered a whole lot. We’ve done some of the crafts. We did a few of the science experiments. (Let’s face it. I don’t care what the homeschool mom at the book fair trying to sell you the curriculum says. Those “What you will need for this experiment” items are not common household items. Oh, a Bunsen burner? Sure, let me just go grab one of those. We keep it right next to the potato peeler.) We went on a few field-trips here and there. We’ve tried to do a Classical model, but I’m not one of those Latin-speaking, Bible-translating kids. And we’ve switched curriculum dozens of times. But the one thing that’s remained constant is the focus on truth. And I think it’s that that makes me so thankful for my education.
     Because when you’re focused on truth, education becomes more than school, it’s a life-style.

     When thinking about all of this, I got curious and looked up the definition of education.
Here’s what I found:
Education. n.
     1. The process of receiving or giving systematic instruction, especially at a school or university.

     Then I looked around a little more and found this definition from The Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary:
Education. n.
     1. The bringing up, as of a child, instruction; formation of manners. Education comprehends all that series of instruction and discipline which is intended to enlighten the understanding, correct the temper, and form the manners and habits of youth, and fit them for usefulness in their future stations. To give children a good education in manners, arts and science, is important, to give them a religious education is indispensable; and an immense responsibility rests on parents and guardians who neglect these duties.

     Um. Yeah. That in and of itself says a lot.

     But really, let’s look at the difference.
     Besides how imposing the 1828 definition is, [I mean, they are telling you that you have a responsibility to give your children a religious education. How dare they. Where's the tolerance? This is America after all. We don't have responsibilities, we have rights. (<---That was sarcasm. Just so we're clear.)] there’s some major differences between the two definitions that, I think, get to the heart of some of the issues we have in the educational world today.

     First off, the modern definition says, “receiving or giving systematic instruction.” While the 1828 definition uses words like, “instruction”, “formation”, “enlighten”, and “understanding”. 186 years ago, education meant learning, today, it means memorizing. The modern definition almost seems like a vending machine. I’ll put a few quarters in, you give me a bag of potato chips back, and we’re good to go. Just as long as you can circle the right answers on a test, you’re getting an education.
     I’m not criticizing only the public school system. You don’t have to look far to see this kind of thing in any style of school—homeschool, private school, and public alike. The problem isn't necessarily an institutional one. It is a society that looks at education as the programming of information as if children were robots.

     Over four years ago, I started a Literature course with the infamous Dr. McMenomy. Both of my older brothers had taken classes from him, and I’d heard a lot about him and his courses. Things like, a heavy (like, really heavy) amount of reading. (I remember waking up in the wee hours of the morning and seeing the light still on in my brothers room, and him trying to finish the reading for Dr. McMenomy’s class.) And his harsh grading. Sometimes the papers would come back so marked up with red you thought he’d graded it in the hospital after he got in a fight with a chainsaw. And the worst: the finals. He gives you a passage from something you have never read before and you've got to tell him as much as you can about it: 1. What type of literature is it? (If it's a poem, what kind? If it's a sonnet, Shakespearean or Petrarchan?) 2. What time period was it written in? 3. Who wrote it?
But I’d heard good things too. They talked of benefits they had gained from his classes that I couldn’t understand, but hoped that I might come to.
     So I came to my first class nervous and excited. I think it was that very first class that he asked us, “What is poetry.” Ah, good. He’s starting out with an easy one, I thought. But however confident I was in my knowledge of poetry at the age of 14, to this day, I’m still trying to figure it out. He questioned my perception of a term I’d always thought I knew really well. He pushed the bounds of my understanding and made me think—really think—about things. I can’t tell you how glad I am that he didn’t try to make things fit into a little box—that “What is poetry?” wasn’t a multiple choice question on a test. He didn’t give me his definition of poetry to accept as my own. He made me question my understanding and think about what I think poetry means. Not because he believed that truth is subjective, but because he was so confident in the objectiveness of truth that he was willing to let me think for myself. He didn’t need to control the answers I came to as long as I was seeking truth. I think it’s interesting that the professors who teach that truth is subjective are usually the ones who are extremely confident that their opinions are right. They are the ones that want you to circle their answer on the multiple choice test. But when you believe that truth is objective, you are more concerned with your students finding truth than that they agree with you. That’s what I experienced with Dr. McMenomy.
     And after four years, I can say that I do understand the benefits my brothers talked of. There were late nights getting papers in. Late nights pacing the floor to keep from falling asleep while I read. I got papers back that were so red I thought maybe I should send him a get well card (remember the chain-saw.) The finals were tough. But all in all, it was more than worth it. And that kind of pushing--the constant challenging of my thinking--has impacted my person, and the way I see the world, in really significant ways.

     Second, the modern definition of education says, “…especially at a school or university.” The 1828 definition doesn’t mention school at all. While the first seems concerned with 8:00-3:30, the second extends outside the classroom into every aspect of life. Education includes not just the “arts and science” but the formation of temper, manners, habits, and religion. (Heh, imagine that appearing in a dictionary today.) It is the shaping of every aspect of a child’s life. In fact, I’d even say that the mentality has completely reversed. Now, we think of taking education beyond school—that’s going the extra mile, so to speak. 186 years ago, I think the mindset would have been that school was the cherry on the top. Because school wasn’t readily available to everyone, they had to find other outlets for learning, thus education necessarily happened outside of school. School was a means for education, not the other way around.
     Notice that the Webster definition doesn’t mention teachers at all. It says the responsibility is on the parents. Again, I’m not a hard-core homeschool advocate, and I doubt whoever constructed this Webster dictionary was either, but it just shows how vastly different the mindset was then than it is now.
     Education then, ought to be concerned with the complete and total formation of the child. Its purpose is to shape the child in every aspect of life.
     Another influential class I have taken is Gileskirk (Although I think it’s called King’s Meadow now). It’s a history course by Dr. George Grant. We weren’t the best at doing all we were supposed to. We were always real good about doing the Opportunities (Dr. Grant’s clever name for tests.), and starting the 40-hour project, and all that stuff during the first 4 to 6 weeks of school, but after that initial beginning-of-the-school-year-steam wore off, we were doing good if we listened to the lectures on time.
     But anyway…Dr. Grant is remarkable at taking a historical event and then letting it shape your worldview. He shows you how a philosophy of a certain time shaped the events of that time; how thinking and acting are not independent. You can’t help but let the things you learn from his lectures bleed out into every aspect of your life. He has taught me that the things I surround myself with will have an affect on me. I can’t just listen to music because it sounds good. Because whether I’m conscious of it or not, the lyrics are having some kind of affect on me. One small step at a time they are shaping my ideas and my worldview and, well, “Ideas do have consequences. Worldviews do matter.”
     I wrote in a previous post about rainy days at the Lunsford house. And how mom would let us pop some popcorn and watch a Roy Rogers movie. That’s because she knew education was not just about multiplication tables and diagramming sentences. She saw the value of the lessons learned beyond the worksheets.
     The ideas and the truths I learn from one of Dr. Grant’s lectures, or a novel I’m reading in Dr. McMenomy’s class, come up around the dinner table or in the car on the way to church. I did my fair share of worksheets, sure, but it's when those concepts learned inside the classroom extend beyond it that real learning happens.

     I’ve been home schooled educated not for the past 12 years, but for the past 18 and a half.
     It hasn’t been perfect. It’s probably not even been as good as it could have been. There are others out there who have probably had better, others worse. There's things I wish I would have done, and things I wish I wouldn't have, but I'd just like to say thanks. Thanks to Dr. McMenomy, Dr. Grant, many other wonderful teachers I’ve had along the way, and an especially big thanks to my dad and mom.
     Dad first suggested homeschooling to Mom, and she thought he was crazy. Well, I’m glad she changed her mind. Not that you can only get this kind of thing from homeschooling, but that’s where I got it, and so I’m thankful the two of them decided to try it out. And kept trying it out. Like I said in the beginning of this post, it’s one of the biggest blessings in my life.

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     (Isn't God amazing? Looking back on 18 years of living, you just see a glimpse of that big picture He has in mind all the time, and it kind of takes your breath away with an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness as you're reminded of His goodness.) 


     And now I think I’m gunna go cry.
     Dr. Seuss said, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." And as happy as I am that it happened, I am sad because it's over too. Are feelings really so separable as all that, Dr. Seuss?


     (Actually, I’m going to proof-read this a few dozen times first. Because when you’re writing about education you really don’t want it to be full of grammatical errors and/or typos. :-) Then I’ll go have my cry.)




Sunday, May 11, 2014

Another Post About Reading. (I just can't help it)

"Do you know how Where the Red Fern Grows ended?"

"Do you know where the red fern grows?"

Two seemingly similar questions, but they're really vastly different. One deals with the end result, while the other is concerned with the entire experience.

Becuase, "do you know where the red fern grows?" is not just about where it grows. That question encompasses so much more. It's asking, "Do you remember when Billy saved up for those two little pups? Do you remember when Old Dan got stuck in the tree and Billy had such a time getting him down? Were you just a little bit proud watching Billy fill the side of the shed with coon skins? Did your heart race as you watched Billy desperately try to save Anne from the freezing water that one winter night. And the did you cry? Did you weep? Did you leave just a little piece of your heart there where the red fern grows?"

Reading isn't about the last page, or the first page, or the 22nd page. It's about every page.
It isn't a puzzle that you glean satisfaction from finishing, and then put aside because it has nothing else to offer.
It is more like a painting that you stare at for hours--every now and then noticing some new detail that you didn't realize was there just a moment before.
A good book should not look like a strait line with a uniform beginning, middle, and end. It should, of course, have some center--a cohesive track that holds everything together--but it should branch out from that and give the reader boundless depths to explore.

Because, if it does, then people end up asking not, "Do you know how Where the Red Fern Grows ended?" but rather,
"Do you know where the red fern grows?"






Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Recollections. . .

In the name of remembering the past, and recollecting on good days of yore before I head off to college and start a new phase of life... I'm going to start posting memories from my past. Just those little things I look back on and smile at. 

There was a phrase in our home. I don't know where it came from, but the skies would fill up with dark clouds and we'd wait anxiously for the first sound of a drop of rain against the window. tap. "Rainy days mean popcorn!" We'd say. Mom would smile and we would run get everything ready. Davis poured the kernels into the popper and plugged it in. Peyton was always in charge of melting the butter. And I filled up the glasses with ice and poured in the coke. And then we'd all do a little pleading, saying you just can't have popcorn and coke without a movie, and mom would let us put in a Roy Rogers.

I'm not sure how the tradition started. Maybe it's just that when you live in Texas, rain comes seldom enough that it's worthy of a little celebration. But here's a hearty thanks to a mom who, despite her love of schedules and plans, could forget the check marks realize that special days are necessary, and we would still graduate without that second half day of school.



Wednesday, February 19, 2014

These guys. . .

As if their music wasn't enough...







How can you not like these guys?

Monday, January 6, 2014

Resolved.

     As a new year dawns, I have that fresh feeling of starting over. It's a wonderful feeling. I think Anne Shirley describes it so well, "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" Well, here's a new year, clean and fresh. All these days stretching out before us, like a clean slate, waiting to be filled with memories, laughter, tears, joy and pain, wonder and excitement. 
     I know this feeling of "this year's going to be the best yet" is rather cliche, but it's not an entirely unhealthy feeling, I don't think. God designed this cyclical world in a way that brings fresh starts like new days, new weeks, new months, and new years. And he wants us to feel that way because with him, starting things anew is possible. 
     Well, this year, I am resolved to relish the little things. Rejoice in the early morning light streaming in divided lines through my eastern window. Savor the sweet smell of rainy days, and the clearness of the sunny ones. Delight in the sound of laughter. Read the good books. Soak up the moonlight. Listen to the birds and the trees and the wind. Watch the sunrises and the sunsets. Enjoy homecooked meals. Sip coffee in contentment. Work hard, enjoy well deserved rests. Celebrate family and friends. Listen with wonderment to the music around me, the symphony of the lives of a million people living together in this wide, vast world.



     But, here's the thing. I know, that in order to do this, I've got to say no to the internet. Right now, I'd rather pin pictures of those happy moments, or post about them on facebook, or share a picture of them on instagram, than I would just enjoy them. There was a time--and I'm more than a little embarrassed to even tell you this--but there was a time last winter when for various reasons, I found myself home alone for the evening. Now, I love my family, I really do, but a cool, winter, night with less homework than usual, all to myself is a rather happy prospect. So I decided to grab a blanket and get lost in between the pages of a hardback. But...the moment was too good not to instagram. And the picture would really look so much better if I had a cup of tea in my anthro mug...and I definitely needed to get the lighted Christmas tree in it...and this type of evening really isn't complete without a nice, bright fire in the fireplace, so I built one... I tell you, I spent so much time making my evening look enjoyable, that I barely had time to actually enjoy it. And I think it's so easy to unconsciously go from just living life to making sure it's well documented. It's easy to get caught up in pictures because we don't want to forget whatever is going on…but if we don't put the camera down sometime, we may sacrifice actual memories for a nice looking scrapbook. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for pictures. They're great. But they aren't the real thing.
     So, I'm resolving to care less about the way my life looks on a Facebook page, and care more about my actual life. 


Happy New Year!